My Fears and Hesitations about Moving...Internationally

The last few weeks (months actually) I've been dealing with appointments and checklists to get ready for our international PCS (Permanent Change of duty Station) to Okinawa, Japan. The biggest stress is of how little importance people place on the things we rely on to get done. For example, we all need physicals, vaccines etc. to be Japan ready. I have gone through all this. I am missing one stinking piece of paper that allows me this clearance. I'm not sure why my doctor "isn't finished with my paper" (on a routine physical), but we're supposed to leave in a week and I'm not cleared to go to Japan. It's very scary. My life is literally in this doctor's hands and he couldn't care less.

Assuming my day goes right tomorrow, and "Mad Mommy mode" gets stuff done, tomorrow the first of our stuff gets packed and shipped out early. It's very emotional to me. This is our "send ahead" shipment so we can have our essentials immediately. We're allowed 400 lbs, half of which is dedicated to issued crap that never gets used. I have wisely chosen that our daily cooking gears gets priority. I'm hoping there's enough space for my beloved coffeemaker.  What do I do if there's no room? Live without my coffeemaker for 2 months?  I use it every single day. Although it's slightly comforting that I can have the essentials immediately, it's sad that I still have to do without while we're still here.

The rest of our stuff leaves the day after Easter. We will be sleeping on the floor for over a week. I won't have my stuff for 6 weeks. It may seem like such a short time, but it's my stuff. Call me materialistic, but it's my beloved items: my books that I love so dearly and reference a lot, my beading hobby that gives me such comfort, my baking supplies that gives me joy and spreads that joy to all my friends. I am willing to sacrifice OUTFITS and SHOES to pack this stuff in my luggage.

I know it's just "stuff" but it IS my life. I sit here with a smile on my face as we list all of our furniture that we've filled our house with in the classifieds. Re-buying furniture is a little exciting for the interior decorator inside me, but how do I choose what's the most important? How do I add value to the things that give me comfort? I have to say goodbye to the hobbies I do the balance my life, and I have to sacrifice it, not only for our weight limit, but to make sure our daughter doesn't feel this anxiety as she watches her stuff leave, and has to do without it.

When we get there, the Marine Corps does its best to make us at home while we wait for our household. We will have loaner furniture until ours arrives...Do I really want to sleep on a loaner bed? Do I want my sheets touching that? 

As any trip, it's exciting and scary. 9 hours with a 4 year old is scary. Trying to buy train tickets and get on the right train in a foreign country with a strange language is scary. This island will be very Americanized. The whole island is practically an American base itself. I'm not worried about a communication barrier that much, but what about cultural practices. Will my existence be offending? Will I carry myself well in our culture, and be completely rude and appalling in theirs?

Another stress in my life, as I face all these scary changes, I have to say goodbye to my friends. I have to miss important events. It will be sad to leave and just as sad for them. When I first told my family about this move, they were so excited, and that made me so angry. I was so unhappy about this move, but that was the best thing for me. It doesn't help all the people telling me not to go, or how much they don't want me to go. It also doesn't help everybody asking me "When are you coming to see us?" I've gone to my hometown twice recently, both trips, with the intention of saying goodbye and getting my family fix. It's just another one of those things where I feel like everyone wants all of me, and it's never enough. I have to more time or energy to give. I don't get enough sleep, there aren't enough hours in the day.

It also doesn't help when everyone asks about how the disaster will affect us. Obviously, they ARE sending us. That redundant "Well duh" question answers itself the moment I say I'm going. Also, thanks to everyone for reminding me of the scary earthquakes, aftershocks, tsunamis and radiation that Japan is experiencing. That doesn't help at all ease my mind about this move that I didn't want in the first place.

I have tried to be positive for so long, but people do get to you, no matter how strong. i will continue with this move with grace. Yes, I will be going, I will NOT be separating my family for the selfishness of others wanting me to stay. My family has been separated enough by leaving our loving dog and cat behind.

In the last few days, it's getting VERY real. I'm very nervous and anxious. I want my last few days here to be happy. I just want to remember all my friends. I don't want to talk about the move anymore, unless there's some encouragement and positive thoughts about it.  I've been having the same repetitive conversation for months.

The Old Fashioned NEW Betty Crocker

With many loved ones' birthdays coming up within the next few months, I'm trying to get organized and put together something thoughtful for each individual before my family leaves the states. Last year for my brother's birthday, I think we got him the best gift ever: a ticket to fly to So-Cal to stay with his lil-sis and go to a U-2 concert. He just got married, and I just started a new job, so it was a hectic week, but we were all so ecited for this gift. A week before the concert (just after bragging about it to my new boss, mind you) I'm scrubbing at the dishes, when I hear the DJ announce that Sir Bono needed emergency back surgery. =( I'm glad he was OK, but I wished he needed it AFTER Anneheim.

Well, a year later, we're still waiting for this awesome gift to take place. hey, we tried.

I really wanted to drive to San Francisco to surprise my brother, but with this move sneaking up, it's impossible. I knew if I visited, I would make him some cupcakes (since it's my THING), then I get the "Ah-ha" moment. Normally I send friends a "warm delights" with a candle so they can have their cake and eat it too. I decided to take it to the net level.

While I'm brainstorming, I decide to go with German Chocolate cake. Since I can't send his favorite, Gellato, I decided he's never complained about chocolate, and having lived in Germany, I'm sure he appreciates that dessert.

I decided to join my two new passions: cupcakes and canning (See?! I warned you about archaic kitchen methods. I mean, seriously, who DOES that?!). My recipe for the coconut pecan frosting, was simple, and inexpensive, and yielded more frosting than I expected equalling a very happy husband to indulge in the leftovers.

It came out so good. I could just smell the melted butter and evaporated milk the whole time. To quote Rachel Ray: "Yum-o!" Since I simmered it in a sauce pan, it was easy to can, since you need to boil the can afterward.

My chocolate frosting came out nice as well. It's so rich and thick and creamy, however, I'm afraid to send it. I can't boil it to seal, because I'm afraid it would change the consistency, and I can't send it unsealed, because it contains milk. Oops! but I learned something, and now I have some for the house, instead of those cheesy plastic cans and processed frosting.

The ORIGINAL Betty Crocker. I'm sure this is how she intended the use of canned frosting. It's made with more love and meaning and makes a great gift (In my humble opinion)

My failed attempt at brownie pops made the perfect sample for my frostings. It kinda looks like a volcano! =D

*Please no phallus comments. I'm aware it looks like that*

LOL

Pretzels

I'm not sure if it's the excitement of "Pretzel Day" from the Office, but our family LOVES pretzels. Especially the soft kind. When I found this book, I couldn't resist, and being the last copy I just HAD to have it THAT DAY!

I had some setbacks before I could actually start making my pretzels. First, I kept forgetting to buy Yeast. After I finally found Yeast, and discovered that Target doesn't carry the pouches, I bought the jar. On my way home, I realized I already had that same jar of Yeast and didn't recognize it. Ironically, the Yeast I already had was purchased to make (failed) pretzels with some friends for our own Pretzel Day in a celebratory marathon of the Office.

The basic pretzel recipe from this book was super easy. I didn't even need my mixer....Than I realized that kneading pretzel dough was a bigger workout on my forearm than scooping Dacquiri ICE from my Baskin Robbins days. I disappointedly needed to chill overnight. I had to work the next morning, so my dough was overchilled, I think, and hard to work with. My mutant pretzel bites were still delicious, though, along with my homemade Honey Mustard dip from the same book.

The next day, my desire for making pretzels wasn't satisfied, so I found an easier recipe online (Joythebaker.com/blog) and the best part was, I only had to wait 45 minutes before delicious pretzels. I decided to master the dough before trying the shape. I was running out of pan space, so the last bit of dough, I tried a fancy twist.

Both recipes were delicious, and since I knew exactly what was going into my pretzels, I didn't have the weighty feeling from Fast Food Guilt afterwards. Even though it's a lot of starch and carbohydrates, I think (homemade) pretzels are a good and healthy (sorta) snack for everyone.

It's been a while....

Wow! I haven't written in such a long time! I think it's time to start anew. I've been having many adventures here on the home front, and I'm excited to share them outside of facebook.  Most of my adventures are in the lost art of domesticity. While I'm still trying to conquer the world one sandwich, runny nose and paper at a time (through work, parenting and school), I'm dabbling in the domestic world. It can be tough, but it's fun. It's a hobby for me, so it rejuvenates me after a long day of customer service and "MOM!!!"

Stay tuned for pictures and stories of my return to home cooking, and some ancient practices of the archaic stove.